STWMM: 476 If they lick the booty hole, do you have to?

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You are listening to a Pleasure podcast, Pleasure For. more from our sex podcast collective. visit Pleasure Podcasts dot com.

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Jonathan asks, has the mother thought of doing porn with lusty grandmas or mature NL or 60 plus M-L-I-F-W in Miami? Thank you, Jonathan, for that question. I

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Get that question quite a bit. You

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Do. You asked that question.

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A lot of people wanna know if I'm doing OnlyFans, but now I, I think I'm entering a new phase. I've went from OnlyFans and MILFs to GUFs in lusty Grandmas. I don't. Do you

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Identify as a lusty grandma? No.

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I don't wanna be a lusty grandma.

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It's uncomfortable to talk about sex, but sometimes it's important to get uncomfortable. Sex Talk with my mom is the best Mom son podcast about sex. It's the

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Only one as well.

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My mother is A cougar.

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My son is a clown.

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In A nutshell. my dad died. so my mother decided to create a YouTube channel all about sex. like all mothers do. And

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Then. my son decides to use my material in his standup comedy routines.

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And thus, Sex Talk With My Mom was born. Welcome to Sex. Talk With. My Mom. I'm Cam Poder

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And. I'm Karen Lee Poter

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My wonderful mother in a brand new studio.

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Yeah, we're very excited. Look at this place. This,

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It's professional as hell. If.

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You guys are not watching this on YouTube. You should be You

1 (1m 31s):

Know you advertise that we're on YouTube every time. but we we have a whole backlog that we have not put on YouTube You know,

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But there are, there are things that are on YouTube they can watch.

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Yeah. You could see us on, you could see us on It just might not be us saying this exact thing.

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Yes. It'd be something similar. I, but

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This is the goal. I'm back in Los Angeles. Woo. I'm here until February before I go off on my, my clown adventures again. Oh,

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There he goes. But

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It's five months of where we can actually create a beautiful podcast for you. And a big goal is to make it something that you guys want to listen to. So that's

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A hear more. That's a nice goal. As opposed to putting something on that they won't wanna listen to. Yeah. Who wants

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That?

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No, nobody wants that. I'm just happy about something. What's that? A You're not wearing a clown outfit.

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Thank you. Some people would say this flowery shirt is a bit clownish. That or these blue socks.

2 (2m 21s):

Okay. But on the whole, you're not looking as clowny as usual. You're not wearing the beard.

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I take the offense to that. I, I You know my goal is to be the best clown I can be.

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I know and You know what I have to say. What if you're gonna be a clown and wearing a big gone some beard and, and the, I don't know what's going on with the hair. Whatever it is, it needs to be cleaned.

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Oh, yeah. Yeah. I do air it out. So what my mother is

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Referring, airing out is not cleaning.

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My mother is referring to a, a one man show that I'm putting together where I dress as a gnome and as a result, I have a large headdress, a a bearded headdress on. And it does get very sweaty

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And it, and it's disgusting.

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And I did. I did have covid in it at one point. Oh

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My God and other people were borrowing it too. No

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One's borrowing

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It. Oh, who's borrowing it? I don't know what put that on. I thought the masks that you guys are borrowing too.

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I do have to air air it out though. 'cause it's stinky. Anyway, I'm glad that you bring that up.

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Well, I brought it up because I, I wanting to talk about the gnome thing. I had a weird gnome experience.

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Oh God.

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My, my friend who's a comedian, she as a niece, she is using this little sticker. I go, what kind of stickers on your hand? She goes, my knee, my 5-year-old niece gave me this little sticker and And I go What is that? She goes, it's a gnome. And. I. Go. It's a gnome. That's really weird because Cam's a gnome. And she said the, that the little girl said the name is Gary and Gary is the name of your deceased father. Yes. so I thought that, that was like very strange. You

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Believe in all this weird coincidence shit.

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First of all, it's not weird. It's, it's, it's not even a coincidence.

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You called it strange. You just called it strange. I call weird. It's different.

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Okay. It is a little weird and strange, but it's also like, you can see that there's some sort of energy out there that is calling out to us to pay attention

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To and to say, go down this no mish route.

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Go down the nom route. And your sister is naming your unborn nephew Gary as well. So there's a lot of Gary things going on in the world right now.

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Spooky.

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Spooky.

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What do you make of it though? You think that it means like you're, that you, it's a sign that you're going the right direction. If. you see little coincidences like this pop up. Yes. That's what you

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Think. Or if you're a negative person, you would say it's things that you're not supposed to be doing. But I'm a positive person, so I'm thinking it's things that I want to be doing. What do you think You know?

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I'm curious how many of our listeners agree with you. You can always Text us Your thoughts sweet listener at 3 1 0 3 5 6 3 9 2 0.

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That's

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Our text line. Hit us up. And that takes us into the segment of the show that I would like to call Mom knows best.

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I like that

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Mom knows best where we get to answer your questions. You know Sometimes you guys send us questions unprompted, this week I asked you guys, do you have any questions for us about your sex dating or relationships that you could use some advice on?

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And we ask you to do it verbally so that we can hear it.

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Yeah. Some of you did that, some of you didn't do that. Most of you didn't do that. The first person that responded was Mr. Bean who said, you want our sex dating relationship Questions, even if it involves sheep asking for a friend.

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Asking for a friend.

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Yes. Even if it involves sheep. We'll take your questions Mr. Bean. I'm glad to hear that it's still going well with between you and the, the bas.

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Yes. Even if now you were up in Maine, did you have I in main? Did you have

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I I missed. I missed Mr. Bean up there.

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Mr. Bean lives in a rural area of Maine where apparently he has a lot of sheep.

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Yes. Yeah. And

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You were like in a barn somewhere. So I'm surprised.

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I saw some sheep. I saw sheep up there. I had no desire to fuck them.

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Okay. But did you think of Mr. Bean when you saw the sheep?

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Yes, of course.

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How could you not?

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How could you not? Did

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You talk to the sheep?

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I, I did a little gnome show for them.

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Okay.

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The first real question was from Anonymous. Who says, I've been sleeping with a girl. She was giving me a BJ when I was lying down And Then. She picked up my leg and started to licking my butthole. Oh my goodness. It felt good. Then she told me I have to eat her butthole. Ooh, I did not. She is mad at me. Now what should I do this? She's a doozy.

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It's a doozy. Have you experienced that before?

1 (6m 45s):

I've never had my butthole licked. And I've never licked a butthole. And, I, I. think I would be in a similar situation as this guy I. think I Would I think I would ask

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A lot of questions.

1 (6m 56s):

I would ask the person to shower and make sure it's clean. Yeah. If they really want me to lick the butthole, And Then, maybe I would test it

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Out like a little flick.

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A little flick and see what it tastes like. If it tasted like shit, I would, I would abandon

2 (7m 9s):

Shit literally if it tasted like shit. You have to abandon ship.

1 (7m 13s):

Yeah.

2 (7m 13s):

Shit. Abandoned ship. I

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Have a feeling it's just gonna smell and taste like a, like a regular skin. Like the, like the vulva that also You know It sometimes doesn't taste, smell so good either.

2 (7m 24s):

So I have not tasted the vulva. Okay.

1 (7m 27s):

What would you do in this situation? You got you so I.

2 (7m 30s):

Think I've done that.

1 (7m 31s):

You've licked a

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Butt. I. think I. When I was in a fucked up state, I must have licked a butt. Now, now And Then. But I don't think it's quite something I do in a butt now. And, Then. I don't think I do it on a regular basis. Put it that way. I think it's happened like once or twice in my life. And there were extenuating circumstances.

1 (7m 49s):

Was it in reciprocity or did you, was that just you got excited and decided to lick a butthole?

2 (7m 56s):

I. think I liked having my butthole licked.

1 (7m 59s):

See, there's something in, in these states when you get hyper aroused that you just lose track of Normal Yeah. Human behavior. You're like, oh, of course I'll lick a butt hole. Most of what

2 (8m 9s):

The fuck. But most of sex is kind of disgusting anyway. Right? Like you said, You know. The vulva can taste and smell like tuna.

1 (8m 16s):

Yeah. Right. Right. I didn't say that. What are you putting words in my mouth? Like you said, the vulva can taste and smell like tuna. I like tuna for the record.

2 (8m 25s):

Okay. I'm glad to hear that. Do they have something that guys, to taste and smell like that? It's like a gn like

1 (8m 32s):

Meme. What, what do we what what a, like what a seed.

2 (8m 35s):

Well, You know how people say that women's taste. Like

1 (8m 38s):

I know. You know. Sometimes we talk about how it can taste like chlorine or they're salty.

2 (8m 44s):

That's You're talking about your cum.

1 (8m 45s):

Yeah. What, what what

2 (8m 46s):

I'm talking about the the actual just licking of the penis. Well,

1 (8m 50s):

Usual. I think when you're tasting a vulva, you're, you're tasting the liquids around it. You're not really tasting the skin itself. You know it's secreting shit that, that is leading to the taste and funk.

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Okay.

1 (9m 4s):

You know, yesterday I went

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The way you said funk was really funky.

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Mom. Yesterday I went into this fucking, I went into like an essential oil store. 'cause my friend really wanted to see what they had going on in there. She was all excited about it. And without, before I knew it, I asked one of the salespeople if, if one of these things could help me with migraines. And she goes, oh yeah, sure. She picks up one of these essential oil things and she, she grabs my neck and she starts putting the fucking essential oils all up and down my neck. Okay. And, I, AMM thinking. Okay, it's fine. Five minutes later.

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Oh, that smell.

1 (9m 42s):

My neck is both on fire and feels like there's ice cubes on it. Really? I feel so fucking high and weird. I could barely, I started feeling al oil. 10 minutes later I start feeling into my teeth.

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Was it like, what the fuck is it like

1 (9m 56s):

Sensitivity?

2 (9m 57s):

No. Maybe it was menthol lips.

1 (9m 59s):

Tons of menthol. It was Peppermint Halo is

2 (10m 1s):

What it's called. Oh, peppermints. Yeah.

1 (10m 3s):

I couldn't even drive. I swear

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To God. You're, you're very sensitive to these things. You're

1 (10m 6s):

Extremely sensitive. You couldn't drive. I couldn't drive with the fucking peppermint halo. Oh. my God. I had to tell my friend when I got home, I made it home safely. It was nuts. I ended up buying a hundred dollars worth of shit over there. You bought

2 (10m 17s):

That

1 (10m 17s):

Shit, mom. I was in a completely altered state. I think they do this to you on purpose. They drugged you. I felt like I was on drugs.

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You, so you, you bought a hundred dollars of sex. I

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Gotta go return all that shit.

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You can. You.

1 (10m 27s):

I think so.

2 (10m 29s):

Oh my God. So you bought it before your whole neck became an essential oil At

1 (10m 34s):

First. I li You know it's like Dr. Like drugs, like, it, it doesn't, it hits you. It takes time to get into your bloodstream. To

2 (10m 39s):

Yeah, but we're not talking about cocaine. We're talking about some, I'm talking about

1 (10m 42s):

Peppermint halo, a fucking neck. It felt like the most intense, icy hot you could ever make. I I was sitting there. I had to sit down in the middle of century sitting mall Oh my God. I had to sit down in a, in a, in a mall. Now

2 (10m 53s):

What did your friend think of this?

1 (10m 54s):

She thought it was nuts. She thought I was literally insane.

2 (10m 58s):

Oh my God. This poor person that's with you. Yeah. You were sweating.

1 (11m 3s):

I I was not. I was like, my, my, my hands went completely cold and numb. What the fuck? What the fuck?

2 (11m 10s):

I don't know what the fuck, what the fuck mother.

1 (11m 14s):

So Tom, the elder statesman says recently, after a few drinks and a few sexy comments, a divorced friend asked us if we e we'd ever had a threesome or swapped. Hmm. My wife quickly answered no. And changed the subject. I haven't brought the subject up since. But really feel like the friend was putting out a feeler. I'm definitely interested, but how do I broach the subject with my wife without maybe pissing her off? I

2 (11m 39s):

Think a lot of people are in that situation with, they're afraid to break broach a situation.

1 (11m 44s):

So you're sitting at the dinner table with someone. Yeah. And another couple says, Hey, you guys ever dove threesome or foursome?

2 (11m 51s):

This happened to us.

1 (11m 53s):

This happened to us. Me and

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De. De. Yes.

1 (11m 56s):

So you, someone was like,

2 (11m 57s):

We were in Nashville. We were sitting at a table I'm talking away to, and all of a sudden they go, have you ever been in the SLS? Wait.

1 (12m 6s):

Sexy lifestyle.

2 (12m 7s):

Yeah. Sexy lifestyle. Yeah. I had no idea what she was talking about. This was way before the podcast. Okay. This was like several years ago. Yeah. And I'm like, no. And Then. I see that Dees was asked the exact same question from the guy.

1 (12m 19s):

And how did Dees respond?

2 (12m 21s):

I don't know what what he did. But I think I quickly, like grasped a hold of him and said, we got him. Get outta here.

1 (12m 27s):

Well, you think you were gonna get fucking raped from these

2 (12m 30s):

DS Ls people? No. It just, I just thought we were like in over our head, so to speak. You

1 (12m 33s):

Didn't wanna get involved?

2 (12m 34s):

We did not wanna get involved in the SLS lifestyle.

1 (12m 37s):

You know the clowns. Get down with this shit. I I was pro propositioned by th three different clowns. Are you

2 (12m 43s):

Surprised for foursome? Every time I see a clown show, someone is flapping their dick around or exposing any genitals that they have.

1 (12m 51s):

There was a girl that was hitting on me that I had expressed interest in, and there was a couple, the girl that I was with, and the guy of the couple said they wanted to see me with the, the girl of the couple. And if I would just kiss her, And I was like, I have my retainer in. I'm not sure what this, I

2 (13m 9s):

Got my retainer

1 (13m 10s):

In this. Yeah. It wasn't the right timing. This

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Is the very unsexy

1 (13m 13s):

Thing to say. It, it wasn't the right timing.

2 (13m 15s):

Unsexy.

1 (13m 16s):

Yeah. But You know, maybe down the line, if

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We're I have my retainer in why

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I am my retainer.

2 (13m 20s):

Why couldn't just pull it out? That'll be attractive.

1 (13m 22s):

No. Anyways. Ain't gonna pull out my retainer for this anyway. But You know times, times

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It can happen. The

1 (13m 29s):

Right it, everything,

2 (13m 30s):

It happen game

1 (13m 31s):

One day, one day, one day.

2 (13m 33s):

I mean, I've done kind of like that.

1 (13m 34s):

So how do we, how do you advise? What do you mean you've done something like that?

2 (13m 39s):

I've definitely triple kissed.

1 (13m 40s):

Triple kissed. Yeah. We've heard about you triple kissing.

2 (13m 43s):

Those are the days of the Quaaludes.

1 (13m 47s):

How do you advise Tom? The elder statesman. Oh,

2 (13m 49s):

Who says

1 (13m 50s):

Tom, how do I broach a subject of my wife without maybe pissing her off?

2 (13m 53s):

I'm, I'm surprised that Tom would even this, this, he'd be the last person I think would write this in because I thought he would've done this 10 times already when he swings in the branches of the, the jungle.

1 (14m 4s):

Y you feel like he's free and easy. So he should be able to communicate easily.

2 (14m 8s):

I thought he already would've done something like this. But maybe not for this particular person. Maybe they've done it in the past with someone else. And I. So how do you bring that

1 (14m 16s):

Up? Yeah.

2 (14m 20s):

Talking about how did you feel when so and so brought this up? Ah, I

1 (14m 25s):

Like that. How did you feel like that? Yeah.

2 (14m 26s):

Throw it

1 (14m 27s):

Back on her. What would you, what did you think this meant? Huh? Yeah. I was Maybe, maybe was It seemed like a little suggestive. No,

2 (14m 35s):

I like it.

1 (14m 35s):

And. Then. Just feel it out. Yeah. Well, And Then. What would you think about that suggestion?

2 (14m 41s):

Yeah. Like I saw something like that on tv.

1 (14m 44s):

I'm not saying we should do this, but in a hypothetical world, how would you feel if we ended up having a foursome with this other couple? Yeah.

2 (14m 52s):

And just, just what do you think it would be Like,

1 (14m 54s):

What do you think it would be like? Do you think they'd lick a butthole? What? Yeah, what, what do you think would actually go down in this

2 (14m 60s):

Thing if Tom's involved? They're definitely butthole butt holes for sure. He just looking buttholes. They're

1 (15m 4s):

Out in the pasture pastures

2 (15m 5s):

Looking balls. Looking everything. Looking

1 (15m 6s):

Balls, butt holes, feet. You know. By the way, You know I have tar on my feet. My, well, how do I get tar on my feet? I dancing on the, in the, on the beach.

2 (15m 17s):

Are you kidding me? Yeah.

1 (15m 18s):

I looked in the shower the other day and my whole, the whole sole of my foot is black And. I'm like, what the fuck happened here? I I, I feel like I

2 (15m 25s):

An injury that, that party was last Saturday. So you're telling me you just noticed I

1 (15m 28s):

Can't get 'em off. I can't get the tar off.

2 (15m 30s):

Oh, you, I don't have tar on my feet.

1 (15m 32s):

Is this where the name Tar Heels in the North Carolina Tar Heels?

2 (15m 36s):

I have no idea where you're, what you're talking about. I thought it was in Angeles, North Carolina

1 (15m 39s):

University. What?

2 (15m 40s):

I thought Los Angeles is a tar. He,

1 (15m 43s):

No, my my foot is a tar heel right now. Okay. Anyway,

2 (15m 47s):

We're moving right along because you got some weird fucking, we gotta things going on with you between, between the, the essential oils and the tar feet and the clown like stuff that you put on.

1 (16m 0s):

I just, I, should I play a message? I don't know. This might be too inappropriate.

2 (16m 5s):

Let's hear it

1 (16m 5s):

For the show. It is really, it is really graphic.

2 (16m 8s):

Oh, I wanna hear it.

1 (16m 9s):

It's really, really graphic.

2 (16m 10s):

I wanna freaking hear that. Really graphic.

1 (16m 12s):

I, I sent this to my,

2 (16m 13s):

I'm teeing you up here.

1 (16m 14s):

IIII, I just sent this to my friend this morning. So maybe I'll just play this voicemail. Okay. I wanted to give an update. Maybe I'll give you guys the same update. Here it is. Ready.

5 (16m 23s):

I I needed to tell someone this, but I just ate moly for the first time in maybe five months. No, that's not true. Maybe a month. And I ate a lot of it. And I also had a big dinner last night. And I just had a bowel movement. Oh.

2 (16m 49s):

My God.

5 (16m 50s):

It was I think the largest bowel movement of my life. And. I. I needed to tell someone. 'cause I don't think I have a picture. If. you wanna see it? But it is a picture. It was coming, it was almost, it was definitely out of the water of the bowl.

2 (17m 4s):

Oh my

5 (17m 5s):

God. And it was almost coming. I wanna say it almost came out of the bowl. That might be an exaggeration, but that sort of felt, it felt like the whole bowl was full. Oh. Anyway, I have a picture. If. you wanna see it? Let me know. And, I and Thank you for, for receiving this.

2 (17m 20s):

It is really disgusting.

1 (17m 21s):

Do you do that with your friends? He wrote back. I do not wanna see it. Thank you for not sending,

2 (17m 28s):

First of all, that's not one of your doctor friends. I would expect you to send it to a doctor. It sounds like you had a colonoscopy. He

1 (17m 36s):

Wrote back. I stopped having moose shortly after having a couple of the craziest dumps. Just one giant turn that never ended. It seemed like the healthiest and least healthiest BM all at the same time. That's exactly what I experienced this morning.

2 (17m 52s):

You know what If you have something like that happen to you. What You feel like you don't want it. You just don't wanna ever fill back up again. You are like, I'm in a good state right now. That's exactly right. I lost a, I had a 10 pound duty. Yeah. And I. I duty, I'm like, I'm ready to rock and roll here and don't fill, start filling up again. You. know what I mean? Yeah. It's like you have a colonoscopy or something.

1 (18m 9s):

I need at least another day before I start putting any fuel in the engine again. I, I I have a complete release. That's what I'm working with right now, by the way. That's

2 (18m 17s):

What you're working with.

1 (18m 18s):

I I have nothing inside of me right now.

2 (18m 19s):

You didn't bother eating anything today.

1 (18m 22s):

I had What do you mean? I had huge bowl? What the fuck are

2 (18m 25s):

You talking about? I meant after that. You never eat anything again? No.

1 (18m 27s):

It's, it's 2:00 PM I I I'm not gonna taint the system right now. Oh, you, I'll let this ride as long as possible.

2 (18m 34s):

It's so frustrating too because You know as soon as you have that big dump and this release that you're eventually gonna start having to go to the bathroom again. It's like you're not done. But

1 (18m 42s):

It part of it's pleasurable. The release. But part of it's unpleasant. It's kind of exactly what my friend described is the pleasant, the the best and worst. Yeah. Dump of his life. Anyway, I'm glad we had that

2 (18m 54s):

Conversation. I'm glad we're talking shit. Talk with my mom again.

1 (18m 59s):

B-I-N-G-O-B-I-N-G and Bingo was his name. O

2 (19m 4s):

Okay.

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Mother, I, I have been having frequent sex recently. Oh my God. I'm glad to hear that. And I will say, I am now officially out of Uber Lube. No. Yep. I finished the tube. Finish the tube. The Tube You know what I love. I love when, if I'm with someone and they say, You know, I'm not sure about lube. I don't know what's in it. I can say with confidence, Uber Lube, this is number one. This is the best high quality lube you're gonna find. It's just silicone with a little vitamin E. Simple ingredients, extremely body friendly. It's Tasteless, odorless. It glides on so smooth and it doesn't leave you that sticky, gooey yicky feeling. Thousands of doctors recommend Uber Lobe as their go-to solution for patients experiencing dryness. You know their simple ingredients lists make it widely used by people with sensitivities to other lubricants. It Enhances your pleasure, trust me. Also, you can use it with condoms. You can't always use oil based lubes with condoms. But Uber Lube is a hybrid. So it is latex compatible. It's safe and effective to use in and outside of the condom. You can also use it underwater, making it great for pools, lakes, and hot tubs. And it won't favorite, won't stay in your clothing. That's Right. Right now, Uber Lube is offering you sneaky freaks, a special offer, 10% off and free shipping. Woo. Just use promo code sneaky S-N-E-A-K y@uberlube.com. That's 10% off and free shipping. Just use code sneaky at UBERLUBE dot com.

1 (22m 23s):

We had a question from Cecilia that was another voice memo. Should I play that? Yes. Here we go.

6 (22m 30s):

Hey guys. Love you both. And the pod. My question is, what are the best apps or ways to get back into the dating pool? I'm coming out a nine year off and on relationship ship, whatever you wanna call it, and literally don't know where to start as someone in their early thirties. And I'm ready to try again. So any suggestions will be much appreciated. Love you guys. Thank you.

1 (22m 55s):

Love you Cecilia.

2 (22m 56s):

Love you Cecilia. Love you Cecilia. You're breaking my heart.

1 (23m 1s):

Mom, do you have any suggestions for her coming back in the dating pool? Wants to get,

2 (23m 5s):

Be very careful. I heard a crazy dating story when I was in Chicago. Total catfishing. This, this woman, oh God. Oh my God. It, it was a crazy story. But, but basically just be very careful. 'cause this woman was telling me about this guy that sounded like perfect. And he was overseas and they hadn't yet met in person, but they were gonna move in together.

1 (23m 26s):

Oh God, here we go with this.

2 (23m 28s):

And a long story short, the guy was a complete catfish and was You know, taking all her money. So just be careful if you're going back in the dating scene that you don't give away too much information. And you make sure to see them in person before you make any decisions on where your money goes.

1 (23m 44s):

I think the best dating apps, the, I've had the most success, which was very limited on hinge for more romantic relationships and Bumble for more romantic relationships. I think field is good. If, you want to get a little kink kinky going on. Oh, look at you.

2 (24m 1s):

But

1 (24m 1s):

I will say this is very contextual in some, it depends where you are in certain cities like Los Angeles, I think it's actually a waste of time a little bit.

2 (24m 10s):

Why?

1 (24m 11s):

Because people are flaking constantly. 'cause there's so many options. I I, I have much better odds of just going to a clown show and trying to meet someone there who likes

2 (24m 20s):

My interest. I think I like that idea. The idea of going to where your interests are. Okay. But

1 (24m 24s):

What, what if you're in the middle of Bumble fuck Nevada or Wyoming.

2 (24m 27s):

There's still like wine clubs or movie clubs or rock climbing clubs.

1 (24m 34s):

Yeah, exactly. I, but I, I think that if you're in a more suburban or rural area, it could be more helpful. 'cause you, it you're physically further apart from people.

2 (24m 45s):

I mean, you used to be able to meet people in like churches and synagogues and things like that. Now people don't go as often. So that's not a good place to meet 'em.

1 (24m 54s):

I don't know. I just wouldn't make it your so way of getting back out there.

2 (24m 58s):

But she asked for which specific apps. What the

1 (25m 1s):

Best there? I the h Bumble and, and and Field If. you want to get a little freaky?

2 (25m 6s):

Not Tinder.

1 (25m 7s):

Not for me. Oh, I think that's a little old school. Oh,

2 (25m 11s):

Well. Oh.

1 (25m 13s):

But yeah. I, I, I wish you the best of luck, Cecilia. That's exciting that you're getting back out there.

2 (25m 18s):

Yeah. You can always read my book. A Cougar's Guide to Getting Your Ass back out there and Go After some younger men.

1 (25m 23s):

Why younger? Because

2 (25m 24s):

It, it, when you first are free and single, you don't necessarily wanna leap into a heavy duty relationship. Just go with someone who You know is more fun since not wanting anything that serious.

1 (25m 37s):

Or we got another anonymous question here. Ready?

2 (25m 40s):

Yes.

1 (25m 40s):

I've been listening to the podcast off and on since 2 20 18. Look at that.

2 (25m 44s):

2018. Wow.

1 (25m 46s):

Always find myself listening to the show during work for some reason. But always love the content. Well, we love that you're listening and I'm glad that this is brightening your workday. This is a mind boggling question that I have for you guys. My wife has recently been reading more adult fiction pretty much on the daily. What is adult fiction

2 (26m 5s):

Like? Erotics. Erotica. Erotica. Yeah.

1 (26m 8s):

Okay. It's not like Harry, Harry Potter, like adult version Harry Potter, right?

2 (26m 13s):

No.

1 (26m 14s):

Okay. Jesus. It, it, it, it has improved our relationship as a whole, I feel, because it is a hobby for her. But at the same time, it brought up some questions for me. I say this only because I stumbled across one of them while browsing through my phone. And it was just downright erotic and naughty as hell. You are right mother. Things that don't, we don't explore yet. Like anal or multiple guys at the same time. Our sex life has been the best it has been in a years. So I'm confused. Any input would be great. Do you wanna take this one? Mom knows

2 (26m 46s):

Best mom knows best than this one. I say keep reading that erotica.

1 (26m 50s):

You liked it.

2 (26m 51s):

I, well, first of all, when I was like You know in the height of my sexual peak or whatever in my twenties say, or even late teens, I was reading erotica by oh oh Nancy Friday. Oh, I love that. My secret garden. Any, what it taught me though is that she categorized it in different like genres. Like some like fantasies, like You know three threesomes or You know gay sex or rape fantasies. All these things you can fantasize but not do them If. you don't want to do them, obviously. Bless you. So anyway, I think just because you're reading about it and fantasizing about it doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna act on it.

2 (27m 35s):

It's just a way to heighten your like, ways of exploring in your mind. Fantasies.

1 (27m 42s):

Yeah. I think it, but he says he kind of does wanna Right. I don't, he doesn't even identify as a, a male. So whoever,

2 (27m 49s):

Whoever is the thing is that we don't explore yet are anal. Anal and and multiple guys at the same time. Yeah.

1 (27m 56s):

Yeah. I think keep going with it. Acknowledge it with it. Maybe you and the partner can kind of bond over this. Yeah. Become a joint hobby. Yeah. Sometimes you say, oh, that has to be a funny thing

2 (28m 7s):

Together. Get into And. Then. Yeah. Yeah.

1 (28m 11s):

Again, inspire new things. I I love this.

2 (28m 13s):

Spice it up there. Anonymous. I love that

1 (28m 15s):

Anonymous

2 (28m 15s):

Thank you for being a listener since 2018. Hell

1 (28m 18s):

Yeah. We got

2 (28m 19s):

That's six years.

1 (28m 20s):

We got another listener with an audio message. You ready for this? Yeah. That's six years mother Ready for this? Yes.

7 (28m 27s):

Hi, this is Robert. Me and my fiance Jeanette. We're driving up to Santa Barbara today or later on. Tonight we're gonna meet one of our lovers at the DoubleTree Hotel in hopes for a hot threesome, a hot bisexual threesome. And hopefully he'll give me a hot cream pie to eat. And I. Just hope it's gonna be really hot. Threesome And I will tell you the details after I come back and hopefully it'll be hot. Yummy Cuco threesome. Okay.

7 (29m 8s):

Bye.

2 (29m 10s):

Oh. my God. That was not the fuck. That was not what I thought it was gonna be. That was, I did not think that I was asking for advice.

1 (29m 19s):

That's not mom. That's best. That's Robert going on his way to a hot

2 (29m 24s):

Cream pie.

1 (29m 25s):

Cuck. Cold cream pie. Threesome.

2 (29m 26s):

Oh my God. Well you have a good time there Robert. You

1 (29m 29s):

Have a great time. Robert Thank you for that updates. Yeah. I hope that bisexual hot cold cream pie really paid off. The voice didn't somehow match the message. The

2 (29m 39s):

Voice is was a very, very weird voice. It was a weird, a very un I didn't understand where it came from. Voice.

1 (29m 47s):

Yeah. I'm going car called cream pie. That's

2 (29m 51s):

A

1 (29m 51s):

Fair was a weird, he's not expecting that character that, anyway.

2 (29m 56s):

Well, he is having some fun out there in Santa Barbara. Is that where he was?

1 (30m 0s):

I don't know where the fuck he was. Some hotel

2 (30m 3s):

I know, we're not gonna be able to find out what happened to Robert. Robert, I'm sure Robert

1 (30m 6s):

If you

2 (30m 7s):

Listening

1 (30m 7s):

To this Robert We will give us a fucking update. Update.

2 (30m 8s):

We won't want the update. I want, I want the update. You want the update? I want

1 (30m 11s):

An update. I don't need the update. Yeah, you

2 (30m 13s):

Want the update mean? I just, I would love to hear what happens at that update. Okay.

1 (30m 16s):

Hot bisexual threesome. All right. We got Dick. Who says, what's the general preference these days? Shaving balls ass. Everything. What's the general preference these days? I've been shaving my ass in balls recently, but also thought dicks look kind of weird. Totally bald. Okay, so that's a grooming question. Mom. Do You know best about this one?

2 (30m 43s):

My friend Monique Marve comedian always talks about when she doesn't like it when people shave completely. She says she feels like it's like a buzzard's head in a nest.

1 (30m 56s):

What's, what's the next the balls,

2 (30m 58s):

The, the heavy balls and whatever she If. you just shave. I don't know. Whatever what she was trying to say. My preference is I like it shaved or trimmed. I do not like a big bush. Okay. What, what is your preference

1 (31m 12s):

On the, on the woman or on the, on myself.

2 (31m 15s):

I don't know. What was he asking that was there,

1 (31m 17s):

Is she shaving balls ass or everything?

2 (31m 19s):

So what, what should he do? Yeah.

1 (31m 22s):

I, whatever's gonna float your boat, my man. Like If. you like a little hairy rump. Keep it, keep it hairy. Let the, let the

2 (31m 31s):

Rump. Yeah. You're talking about shaving your ass. Yeah.

1 (31m 35s):

You said shaving your balls ass or everything. Oh. my God, I think If you wherever you want hair. You keep the hair wherever. You don't want hair. Don't keep the hair. Personally, my preference of myself, I keep it tidy. Tidy. I don't touch my ass. I, I have enough as anal issues as you vote.

2 (31m 54s):

Yeah. And, I. I don't like to cause any new issues.

1 (31m 57s):

Yeah. so I, just the little ball trim. Little dick and mans pubis trim. And Then. Call it a day.

2 (32m 5s):

Dick and mans pubis. What the, what are you talking about? The whole

1 (32m 9s):

Dick and ball area.

2 (32m 11s):

All right.

1 (32m 11s):

Anyway, that would be my preference for myself. But you dick, really, truly, you do

2 (32m 16s):

Do what you need to do. Do whatever you want with your dick. Dick.

1 (32m 18s):

That's exactly right.

2 (32m 22s):

There's,

1 (32m 23s):

Can you explain to someone how to date versus how to go from monogamous relation to, but Okay. Okay. Okay. Lemme start this over. This is a question from Denise. Can you explain to someone how to date versus how to go from one monogamous relationship to another monogamous relationship as a pattern? I go zero to 60 pretty quickly and I've never really dated and don't know how to,

2 (32m 46s):

Didn't I just bring that subject

1 (32m 47s):

Up? You did bring it up. Yeah.

2 (32m 50s):

I think it's important when you're done with one heavy duty relationship to just have some fun with a lot of different people and don't necessarily, like, you don't turn that first relationship into the, the one again.

1 (33m 3s):

So how do you, how do you prevent that from happening?

2 (33m 6s):

Go out with younger guys.

1 (33m 8s):

Okay. Who you select. I think it's an energy thing too. Yeah. Like If, you say No, I'm solely looking just to date and have fun.

2 (33m 17s):

That you'll find that

1 (33m 18s):

And make that apparent, right. Either through the dating apps. You can literally say, I'm looking for something casual. Or you can just tell the person up front, Hey, I'm just having fun here. Just so You know. I'm not really trying to jump into anything serious. Think That's fine.

2 (33m 30s):

You can say that. And. Then. Of course. The person says, oh, I can change this guy. Of course. And Then. The next thing You know you're in a deep, heavy relationship. Oh,

1 (33m 38s):

It's a woman too. That's Yeah. Saying this. Anyway, Denise, I hope that helps your question. I think your self-awareness is the first step to, to changing this.

2 (33m 48s):

Yeah. Become confident in yourself and

1 (33m 50s):

What you're looking for.

2 (33m 51s):

And what you're looking for. And Then You know. Try it out. But I would definitely try out like ones that You know are not going to be long term.

1 (34m 1s):

I hate that I wore these socks here.

2 (34m 4s):

Oh. my God. What?

1 (34m 6s):

They're bright blue socks. Why

2 (34m 7s):

You bring would bring this up right now? 'cause I'm looking

1 (34m 8s):

At myself in the camera and I'm thinking to myself

2 (34m 11s):

Why I You know

1 (34m 12s):

I was looking so good. And Then. I decided to put on these blue

2 (34m 15s):

Clown like socks,

1 (34m 16s):

Clown socks and it completely ruins the outfit. And it's making me a little insecure to be honest.

2 (34m 22s):

Oh, my God. Well

1 (34m 23s):

Pull. Should I take 'em off?

2 (34m 24s):

Would you? No.

1 (34m 25s):

Should I, should I ro 'em down?

2 (34m 27s):

Just pull your pants down. I

1 (34m 30s):

Want to, okay.

2 (34m 31s):

All right. I in panned legs,

1 (34m 33s):

I wanted to be honest with you about how I was feeling. Right now. You what's your check-in right now?

2 (34m 36s):

I, I'm feeling good. You're

1 (34m 37s):

Feeling like If, you were to check in right now. This is exactly what I do in therapy. He's like, what the, what are you feeling right now? I don't, can't feel you. I I can't feel anything. What, what are you feeling right now?

2 (34m 47s):

I'm feeling serene. What are you feeling?

1 (34m 52s):

I have to urinate a little bit. But what

2 (34m 55s):

Oh

1 (34m 55s):

My God other. That's fine. I'm feeling great. Anyway, let's move on. This

2 (34m 59s):

Is, is we, we should call this this episode Cam's bodily fluids because they're out of control. Out of control. What's going on with, I'm sorry.

1 (35m 8s):

I'm talking about normal

2 (35m 9s):

Hu with the feces, with

1 (35m 10s):

The, I'm talking about normal bodily functions that, that have happened recently to me.

2 (35m 15s):

A lot of

1 (35m 15s):

Them. Yeah. Well, I go, I am a human. It's unreal.

2 (35m 18s):

Am I not? It is un

1 (35m 19s):

A human animal.

2 (35m 20s):

A human animal that's got things coming out constantly and nothing's going in. You're not even eating.

1 (35m 25s):

I need to control the intake. So we had some questions from you that were not questions looking for advice, but they were questions just for us in general. Okay. Are you down for that?

2 (35m 39s):

I'm down. Of course.

1 (35m 41s):

Jonathan asks, has the mother thought of doing porn with lusty grandmas or mature NL or 60 plus M-L-I-F-W in Miami. Has the son thought about having sex on camera as well? Thank you Jonathan for that question.

2 (35m 58s):

I get that question quite a bit.

1 (35m 60s):

You do. You asked that question.

2 (36m 1s):

A lot of people wanna know if I'm doing like OnlyFans, but now I, I think I'm entering a new phase. I've went from OnlyFans and MILFs to GUFs in lusty Grandmas. Yeah.

1 (36m 15s):

Lusty Grandmas.

2 (36m 16s):

Lusty Grandmas. I don't, do you

1 (36m 18s):

Identify as a lusty grandma?

2 (36m 19s):

No, I don't wanna be a lusty grandma. Oh wow. I don't even wanna be called grandma. And your your sister says, why don't you be called Bubby? I'm like, bubby. Bubby Sounds like you're like a 90-year-old. It's a great

1 (36m 30s):

Grandma. A

2 (36m 31s):

Great grandma. I mean, bubby. What? Hell, this is

1 (36m 33s):

My She's about to a child. Yeah. You're about to become a grandmother.

2 (36m 36s):

I am. Be about to become a grandma. so I should consider lusty grandmas. Yes. Or mature nl. What does that mean? Yeah,

1 (36m 44s):

I know

2 (36m 45s):

Or 60 plus Milf. WII actually did a, a little TikTok video about how I do not wanna be called a, a guf. Okay. Well, I I don't even like Milf because Milf his mother like the fuck this. You're just an object then. Right? That's why I invented the word cougar. Yes. Competent, older, unique, genuine sort of racing woman You know. Yeah. You invented it in case you guys on this podcast haven't heard about that. We've heard about her mother reinvented the word cougar And. I. Don't wanna be called a guf.

1 (37m 17s):

Okay. Noted. And. I. To answer your question, Jonathan, I have thought about having sex on camera. I'd want to stop motion.

2 (37m 31s):

Wait,

1 (37m 32s):

What? I like a stop motion.

2 (37m 34s):

I don't know what to, what does that mean? Slow motion.

1 (37m 36s):

Stop. Mo You know. It's like a kind of a series of, because I don't, I don't think I need to focus on all the timing of the whole, the whole You know. It's funny, I went to a, a birthday party on Friday. I performed as a gnome and immediately afterward it was for a sex educator, the host of slut and scholars. Anyway, I've met two other sex experts. And I immediately started asking them about how, how do you last longer? This is a fun thing to start talking to strangers about.

2 (38m 9s):

Yeah. What do they say? They take you very seriously.

1 (38m 12s):

It took me seriously. They asked me a bunch of questions because the thing is, I can last longer after having sex. Like the first five times basically Oh

2 (38m 23s):

My God. But the

1 (38m 24s):

First five times is like, come on, two

2 (38m 26s):

Seconds.

1 (38m 27s):

Two seconds. Then I come And, Then, I, but then I quickly get back up again.

2 (38m 31s):

Yeah. So who cares?

1 (38m 32s):

Is I care. It's not as good for me. The second, like, it, it's not as strong and potent. Oh, you understand?

2 (38m 38s):

Yeah. I thought you were just saying the woman is, you felt bad for her because it was like wham bam Thank you ma'am. No,

1 (38m 43s):

Usually the woman is, is I I'm able to pleasure them with my hands, the mouth of whatever or my, or my second time. But for me the sensitivities is, is less. Do you

2 (38m 54s):

Understand? Yes. It's funny. Be not funny. But it's interesting that I think about five years ago we had this exact conversation, not, not necessarily about the pleasure second time around, but just me saying to you in general, who cares if If you come fast. And that video got a response of 4.4 million. Really? Which tells us Yeah. That a lot of guys feel the way you do. Or women are interested in guys that feel the way that you do.

1 (39m 24s):

Yes. Yeah. And they correct me. It's not premature ejaculation. It's, I think they called it rapid ejaculation or something. Something where it is, it's quicker than you want it to be. But anyway, the point being, I I think first of all they're like, this is totally normal. A lot of guys experience this. You can't really control. Some guys can't get it. You know. They gave me the whole spiel. Some people can't come when they want to. Some people, but it's a matter of feeling safety with the person, which is very

2 (39m 52s):

Interesting. So this person doesn't make you feel bad.

1 (39m 54s):

They said it's an anxiety issue.

2 (39m 56s):

Well, you would have anxiety unconscious.

1 (39m 59s):

On an unconscious level. There's some residual anxiety that If you don't fully trust the person or you enter the fight or flight response too quickly. You go from parasympathetic to sympathetic. So you start coming, you come quickly.

2 (40m 13s):

It's the first time. But the second time you're, it is the same issue with trust.

1 (40m 17s):

No. The second time I'm able to last much longer, but it's not as sensitive for me. Right. You understand the

2 (40m 22s):

Problem. I I think it's the same with women. I. think I. It's hard to have that. I remember Nina Harley told me that a porn star, iconic porn star friend of mine, she said that she's one and done. She can only have one orgasm. Yeah.

1 (40m 35s):

But I know of I know of several people who can, I don't know if this is the same for Volvo owners as is for penis owners.

2 (40m 41s):

The penis, I mean the clip, the clitoris is a mini penis.

1 (40m 47s):

I know this

2 (40m 48s):

Got a lot of sensitivity down there.

1 (40m 50s):

Anyway, I thought that was interesting. And they also said, You know you can try the Kegel exercises, but truly this is a more of a psychosomatic issue.

2 (41m 1s):

And also probably it has to do with like how long you've been with the same partner. Exactly. Exactly. Yada, yada yada. And trying d different stuff that you feel Yeah. Will prolong it or

1 (41m 12s):

Yep, yep, yep. But I was thinking of, of making a whole series just for men to You know, give them all the tips and tricks I've, I've found. 'cause I, I've come up with a whole, whole bunch of strategies to deal with this. so

2 (41m 25s):

I love to see that little

1 (41m 27s):

You know. 'cause we gotta have a good time. If I, if I'm gonna come pretty quickly the first time. And Then

2 (41m 31s):

If. you wanna see Cam do a series of, what are they gonna be?

1 (41m 35s):

I don't

2 (41m 36s):

Know. Online clips.

1 (41m 38s):

We'll see if I actually end up doing this.

2 (41m 40s):

You can well If you. The p the pats are gonna be the first to know about this If. you wanna join our Patreon page's? www.patreonpatron.com/ Sex Talk With. my mom,

1 (41m 52s):

Should we finish with Cassie's question? Yes.

2 (41m 59s):

I

1 (41m 59s):

I can, I can bring it up. It's an audio message. Here we go. Let's

2 (42m 2s):

Hear it.

6 (42m 2s):

Hi Kim and Karen Lee, it's Cassie. My question for you is, who are your favorite sex experts and what is something valuable that they've taught you? Love you guys and have a great day. Let me tell you about the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees. And learning the best way to get busy.

2 (42m 26s):

Oh, she did better than me. She's good. Cas. You good? We love you Cassie.

1 (42m 30s):

How, how wonderful is Cassie? I love

2 (42m 32s):

That girl.

1 (42m 32s):

Love her. Anyway, Cassie, you want me to take the first one? Yeah. My favorites experts. You You know what? I just started listening to a new podcast by Dr. Justin Lam Miller. It's called Sex and Psychology. I, I was loading a tongue. This is a phenomenal podcast. If. you want the brass tack You know, get down to the facts with, and it's very research based. And I would and and he, I was just listening to an episode where he was talking about seminal load semen. Load Oh. my God. Yeah. 'cause people have saw all the rage these days building up the semen load.

2 (43m 12s):

I don't know why. 'cause that's the last thing I want is a bunch of semen all over me. Yeah, well

1 (43m 16s):

Most of the time it's in a condom anyway, so it doesn't matter. You know.

2 (43m 19s):

Well, if you're not using condoms, then it's semen all over me. I thought

1 (43m 22s):

That was interesting. But I will say my favorite favorite is Dr. Ian Kerner.

2 (43m 27s):

Damnit. That was what I was gonna say. Well, come on. She comes first. Or what was the second one about playing?

1 (43m 33s):

So I. Think about the sex

2 (43m 34s):

Scripts. Sex. Sex scripts. Yes. No,

1 (43m 36s):

It wasn't called sex

2 (43m 37s):

Scripts. No. But it was like that. Tell

1 (43m 38s):

Me about how you have sex or something.

2 (43m 39s):

Tell me about the last time you had sex. Ooh, You know what? You know what? I, I never know when some something will be remembered.

1 (43m 49s):

What's the most valuable thing they've taught you?

2 (43m 52s):

I think that he taught me that it's okay to play.

1 (43m 57s):

Oh, that's nice.

2 (43m 59s):

And his script is, it is all about playing. I I like to play, role play, whatever. But I like playing.

1 (44m 6s):

The most valuable thing he taught me was she comes first. She, she come first. Which is interesting. You know what I, I I I I'm starting to think, actually there's a nuance to this. You know what, because before it was always she comes first no matter what. so I would just pleasure her. Right? It depends. And, Then, And, Then. I would see, but You know what I realized. My pleasuring of her is usually better if I'm also in a state of arousal. So she has to really pleasure me first. So you kind of, but before I come, so

2 (44m 39s):

It's a whole sex

1 (44m 40s):

Script. It it's a, yeah. She pleasures me before I come. Then I pleasure her to completion. And Then. She can return to me. She still comes first. But I still needed a little prompting. What

2 (44m 51s):

About the simultaneous?

1 (44m 53s):

Oh, the simultaneous. Simultaneous.

2 (44m 55s):

That's

1 (44m 55s):

A difficult thing.

2 (44m 56s):

No, it's not. It is a little bit. All right. It is. It's a little difficult. But it it can be close.

1 (45m 1s):

It can be close.

2 (45m 2s):

If you're doing something with a vibrator while you're having sex. Yeah.

1 (45m 6s):

Yeah.

2 (45m 6s):

Just saying. Just

1 (45m 8s):

Saying. Look

2 (45m 9s):

At he, Ian Kerner can take a couple pages outta my book.

1 (45m 12s):

Anyway, that's the segment called Mom Knows Best.

2 (45m 16s):

Yes, I do.

1 (45m 17s):

If. you wanna participate, send us your questions, especially if they're in audio message form. We'd love to hear a voice. That

2 (45m 23s):

Was fun, by the way. Thank you for participating. Cassie and who was it? Oh, a

1 (45m 27s):

Bunch of people. Cecilia. Yeah. Who is it? Robert with the fucking Oh

2 (45m 32s):

No, don't go there.

1 (45m 33s):

Bisexual cuckold thing. Anyway, Denise, Denise, please let Denise us know your thoughts. We loved all of these questions. So Thank you all for participating. 3 1 0 3 5 6 3 9 2 0.

2 (45m 45s):

You

1 (45m 45s):

Can just send us an audio message and we'll play it.

2 (45m 48s):

And you can say, I wanna be anonymous. Or you can say, speak my name with Pride

1 (45m 53s):

Mother. What's going on in your life these days?

2 (45m 56s):

Well, 90-year-old people need to put a muzzle on it.

1 (46m 1s):

What? 90-year-old people need to put a muzzle on it.

2 (46m 6s):

Okay. You And, I. Go to my mother's apartment complex where there are a lot of older people there. Like most of the people that, like, they're always are paramedics in front of the building. So there's something going on that older people are constantly having issues and they have constantly whis after they,

1 (46m 20s):

Usually it's called dying.

2 (46m 22s):

Okay. Then, so this person is, is she's 90 something years old. And I knew her from when I was growing up. And she was always like the person that said, you, you can't call the person by their first name. You have to call Mrs. So-and-So, so I'm just gonna call for the sake of arguing. Mrs. Chester, Mrs. Chester is one of those busy body people that always would get, I got me in trouble when I was You know, singing in the choir. And she'd always get me in she'd, she'd always like, call me out. She's not a, not a not a nice person. She's a narc. She's a narc. Well, we're sitting in the lobby area and there walks in. Mrs. Chester

1 (47m 0s):

Now 60 years later.

2 (47m 3s):

Yeah, 60 years later. She's in her nineties. She's like, Karen, something's, something's not, something's not right. And did you hear this conversation?

1 (47m 13s):

I heard this conversation. She goes, something's changed with you.

2 (47m 16s):

Something's changed. And, Then, it's not, it's not good. A good thing.

1 (47m 19s):

It's not good.

2 (47m 21s):

And I'm like, Oh, my God. She's gonna tell me. What would

1 (47m 25s):

She fortune telling shit. Yes, because this woman got going on. She's

2 (47m 28s):

Gonna tell me something is so bad that's happening to me. And I'm thinking, what is it? so I go, what is it? She You know 'cause she said it and it's not good. And she starts pointing at her nose like this. And she's pointing and I'm like, what the, what What's with the nose? My nose? She said, yes. I said, you think what? What are you thinking? That I had a nose job? She said, yes, and it's too wide.

1 (47m 53s):

The fuck, what the fuck?

2 (47m 55s):

I look over at you.

1 (47m 57s):

I couldn't stop laughing. I literally started laughing to her inner her face.

2 (48m 1s):

How does, how do you say that to something? What

1 (48m 3s):

The fuck is she's telling you? You got a nose job and it doesn't look good.

2 (48m 6s):

And and it's too wide. And by the way, even if that was the case that I got a nose job and it was too wide or it didn't look good, you don't point to it and say that Oh my God. No fucking way. So as I said, all the 90 year olds in the building need to put a little, a little muscle, a little filter on there. Okay. You just put a filter on it. Grandma

1 (48m 24s):

Oh my God. Full time drama.

2 (48m 26s):

Other than that, we had a wonderful time at the,

1 (48m 30s):

In Chicago.

2 (48m 31s):

In Chicago. It was lovely. Did you have a good time?

1 (48m 33s):

I had a lovely experience. I love watching the trees and the flapping and the wind. Oh

2 (48m 37s):

Yeah. You drag, drag my ass out there to walk in the trees.

1 (48m 40s):

Make your ass walk

2 (48m 41s):

11,000 steps.

1 (48m 43s):

You know I'm settling back into LA now. I finally have a place at least for a few months. I'm subletting from someone and I'm trying to figure out what I can use of this landlords.

2 (48m 57s):

Oh. Without it being like you wouldn't wanna use his dildos.

1 (48m 60s):

Okay. I'm not gonna use his dildos. There are things in the bathroom that look kind of dildo like, like dildo, like, like what? I'm trying not to touch them. Like massagers and stuff like that. I

2 (49m 9s):

Know it's, oh yeah, those are dildos.

1 (49m 11s):

I don't know what's going on

2 (49m 11s):

There. Yeah. You got some dildos going on in here.

1 (49m 14s):

You think I can use first? Can I eat his food? He's not gonna be there for three months. Yes,

2 (49m 20s):

Of course you can eat his food and

1 (49m 21s):

Wine. You just eat the food.

2 (49m 22s):

What? What are you saving it for? What are you talking about? Like stuff that's perishable or,

1 (49m 25s):

Yeah, maybe some cereals.

2 (49m 27s):

I'm sure he's fine with you eating some cereals. Can I wear his, by the way, where'd you get the Mosely?

1 (49m 32s):

I bought them Mosely. Okay. It's Mosely, not Mosly. Do You know

2 (49m 35s):

Madam Musel? Yeah. It's for, to get your bowels moving. Yeah. Is that, is that, is that moly related? I? think I

1 (49m 42s):

Don't think so. I Don't think

2 (49m 43s):

So. Is it Mu mu mutually adjacent?

1 (49m 45s):

Yeah. I don't know what

2 (49m 46s):

That is. All right, go on.

1 (49m 48s):

Can I wear his robe?

2 (49m 49s):

No.

1 (49m 50s):

The bathrobe is off. Yes. Why is he in the bathroom? Is it I,

2 (49m 53s):

Because he lives there and he is sub blooding it. But that doesn't mean you're supposed to wear his clothing. No If.

1 (49m 57s):

You go, you go to a hotel and they have bathrobes.

2 (50m 0s):

Oh. You think that he put that out as a hotel type? I

1 (50m 3s):

Don't know. I I just see a nice bathrobe there. Just a And Then. I think it's a weird question for me to ask him.

2 (50m 8s):

That weird. Your bathroom. Were there little slippers by the bed?

1 (50m 12s):

No.

2 (50m 13s):

I'm, I'm going with just on a, Aaron has aside a question. And don't use this bathrobe. Use your own bathrobe. You probably don't have

1 (50m 19s):

One. I

2 (50m 19s):

Don't have a bathroom. You know why you don't have one? Because I don't have a, 'cause your life is in one backpack. I don't know how you can live

1 (50m 24s):

Seven months. Yeah. I'm not gonna travel with a, a bathrobe.

2 (50m 26s):

With a, with the same clothes that have So

1 (50m 29s):

Can I borrow his bathrobe or not?

2 (50m 30s):

No, you may not.

1 (50m 31s):

What if I wash it first?

2 (50m 33s):

No. Why

1 (50m 34s):

Not? I'm using the towels.

2 (50m 35s):

It's his clothing. It's his towels. Oh, you're right. They're his towels.

1 (50m 39s):

They're his towels. Why can't I wear the bathrobe?

2 (50m 42s):

You know What. is

1 (50m 43s):

That weird?

2 (50m 44s):

Yes. I, I will

1 (50m 46s):

Listeners, can I wear the bathrobe?

2 (50m 48s):

No. I, I'll buy you a bathrobe.

1 (50m 50s):

You gonna buy me a bathrobe?

2 (50m 51s):

Yes. I never watched a birthday present yet.

1 (50m 53s):

Don't you dare buy me a

2 (50m 53s):

Bathrobe. You're gonna get a bathrobe

1 (50m 55s):

For your birthday. You do not, do not buy me a bathrobe.

2 (50m 57s):

Your birthday was in March and it is literally September. Yeah. Why not? My birthday's coming up. Speaking of that, don't get me a robe. I'm

1 (51m 3s):

Gonna get you a rope. Anyway, that's our updates.

2 (51m 7s):

Oh. my God You. know that's your update. That was your update too.

1 (51m 10s):

Yeah. I'm subletting, I'm settling into la It's a lovely thing doing some clowning out here. I I wanted to introduce a new game that we're gonna play. Okay. This is called Would you Rather You guys know how to play this game? Which would you rather do this or do this? Yes. Let, let's, let's play. I, I, I came up with some questions.

2 (51m 30s):

Okay.

1 (51m 31s):

Ready?

2 (51m 32s):

Yes.

1 (51m 33s):

Would you rather go on a date with someone who talks about their ex the whole time? Or someone who brings their pet and talks to it the whole time?

2 (51m 43s):

The latter.

1 (51m 43s):

You'd rather have the pet there.

2 (51m 45s):

I I, I like pets. You,

1 (51m 47s):

They're gonna be talking to like their chihuahua the whole fucking time. Yep. You'd rather have that than hearing about the ex.

2 (51m 52s):

I actually think I went out with this guy who this coming back to me. Either I went out with him or one of my friends went out with him who was completely dressed in denim, like denim shirt, denim jacket, denim pants, and had a German shepherd with him on the date. First date. What's

1 (52m 8s):

The denim have to

2 (52m 9s):

Do with it? I know guy's all in denim and he's got a dog with him. There's a little weirdness about that.

1 (52m 14s):

It's totally weird.

2 (52m 15s):

Yeah. so I, but still would not wanna hear about someone's ex. And as a matter of fact, it was a big turnoff to me when I would go out with someone and they talk incessantly about their ex in a negative way. And I'm thinking, that's gonna be me as soon as we That's break up, up. I don't want you talking shit about me. Psych.

1 (52m 32s):

From a psychological perspective though, it's kind of interesting

2 (52m 35s):

To hear what happened with their ex. Yes.

1 (52m 38s):

Who did they date before? What

2 (52m 40s):

Would the No, I like to hear kind of stuff, but it didn't, it says, talks about their ex the whole time.

1 (52m 45s):

I know, but what, they're sitting there with a chihuahua. I do. How are you Pepper? Do you want your little, do you want your belly rub? Do you, do you like this little food? You wanna hear that shit?

2 (52m 55s):

It's la It's probably happening is definitely happening. More than we would know.

1 (52m 59s):

Alright. I'd probably choose the pet too. Yeah. Actually I, I'd probably choose the X just to find out what's going on there. But the whole

2 (53m 5s):

Time it's a lot of information. I know a lot of, a

1 (53m 8s):

Lot of information. Okay. Next question.

2 (53m 10s):

Would you rather lose an inch off or lose a ball?

1 (53m 14s):

Would you rather lose an inch or a ball a inch off my cock or a ball? I don't even want to answer this question. Is

2 (53m 21s):

It scaring

1 (53m 22s):

You? I stole this question from the Horny Housewife. Another podcast. Podcast on the Pleasure Podcast network. I thought this was hilarious, but it is scaring me to even think about

2 (53m 32s):

Losing

1 (53m 32s):

Out, losing an inch off my dick or a ball, a ball from like, I don't know, surgery. so I don't wanna deal with it. I don't wanna deal with it, but I'd probably lose, I'd probably lose the ball.

2 (53m 44s):

Really? because you don't wanna lose a tip off.

1 (53m 47s):

Yeah, because I'm not dealing with so many inches to begin with. I don't need to lose one. Okay. Yeah. I have just average. I don't need to, I don't need to go below average. No

2 (53m 56s):

One wants to go below

1 (53m 57s):

Average. No, but yeah. What would you do? If? you, I

2 (54m 1s):

Don't have a dick. You know I don't have balls.

1 (54m 3s):

If Dee's had to lose an inch or a ball,

2 (54m 5s):

Oh, he'd get rid of the ball for sure. He What would you prefer? He, I, I like things the way they are. so I wouldn't want, I mean, yeah, he can lose both balls. I, they, who needs them?

1 (54m 17s):

You needs some.

2 (54m 17s):

We're not planning having any more kids, so Yeah. Ball. Get rid of the balls. Balls are going. Balls go. All right. Would

1 (54m 23s):

You rather your but, but God, please God, if you're listening, please don't remove any of either of these. If anything, keep the balls grow. Grow a third. Grow

2 (54m 30s):

A third. A third. Ball, ball. Ball. Oh, add that on. Or a, or, or add inch. Or add a third ball.

1 (54m 36s):

Would you rather your partners let, oh, that's a great one. Would you rather lose a ball or grow a ball? I think three would be better than one. Yeah.

2 (54m 44s):

Could never have too many balls. Would you rather have too much tongue or too little tongue

1 (54m 50s):

When kissing?

2 (54m 51s):

Yes.

1 (54m 52s):

I think too little tongue.

2 (54m 53s):

A hundred percent. I cannot stand when there's a slabbing St. Bernard. But

1 (54m 57s):

It could be kind of boring if it's just a mouth or like a closed pecked mouth. If.

2 (55m 2s):

You listen to Nina Hartley, she'll tell you to use it. Just a little tip

1 (55m 7s):

At the tongue. Yeah.

2 (55m 9s):

Or maybe she's talking about the clit. She's definitely talking about the, oh, nevermind. Would

1 (55m 13s):

You rather date someone who texts back one word responses or sends you 30 texts every time they reply?

2 (55m 20s):

It's one word. Responses.

1 (55m 22s):

Yeah. I would agree up.

2 (55m 24s):

Don't I don't up, I don't like texting.

1 (55m 26s):

Oh, getting blown up with 30 text is not fun. No. Would you rather always have to eat in silence on dates or have your date eat with the sound effects of a pig in slop?

2 (55m 37s):

Silence.

1 (55m 39s):

Slop. What? No, I'm just kidding. Silence. Definitely silence. Are you kidding? I'd prefer that to just a normal discussion. I think

2 (55m 46s):

You prefer silence anyway. Yeah. I a hundred percent board with silence.

1 (55m 50s):

I'm on board with silence, getting to the food. I'm on board. You can talk about it after

2 (55m 54s):

I'm, I'm, I'm becoming more and more silent.

1 (55m 57s):

Can you, can you,

2 (55m 58s):

Can you, are you not gonna respond to that? Yeah.

1 (55m 60s):

Because I don't even believe that that's what it's gonna sound like.

2 (56m 10s):

Wait, wait. We're not doing a birdlike

1 (56m 13s):

Sound. Oh, how do they be?

2 (56m 15s):

And pig.

1 (56m 17s):

Yeah, but they

2 (56m 18s):

No

1 (56m 19s):

Squeals the nose You

2 (56m 20s):

Know. It's more of a snort.

1 (56m 30s):

Got it. Like that. Oh

2 (56m 31s):

God.

1 (56m 31s):

Alright. Final one. Would you rather constantly catch your partner secretly watching porn or secretly watching cartoons,

2 (56m 39s):

By the way? Both.

1 (56m 41s):

What do you mean? Both you

2 (56m 43s):

I have caught my partner watching both of those

1 (56m 45s):

Born and cartoons. Yeah. Which is least offensive to you.

2 (56m 50s):

It doesn't, it doesn't ask about offensive. It

1 (56m 53s):

Just said, whoa. Like, okay. Which would you rather would, would you rather constantly,

2 (56m 56s):

I think I'd rather see the cartoons. I guess constantly

1 (56m 58s):

Watching cartoons.

2 (56m 59s):

I he's always watching cartoons.

1 (57m 4s):

I think so. I. Think it would be a little weird if you're constantly catching your partner with porn.

2 (57m 10s):

Yeah,

1 (57m 11s):

It is a little, that's a little dicey. Anyway. That's Would you rather,

2 (57m 15s):

Would you rather, I thought that was fun,

1 (57m 17s):

Mother.

2 (57m 18s):

Yes.

1 (57m 19s):

Is it time for

2 (57m 20s):

Mom's

1 (57m 21s):

News? Mom's news. Mom's news. Mom's news. Oh. my God is the segment of the show where my mother shares earth shattering groundbreaking news. What do we got this week? Mother?

2 (57m 31s):

Oh my gosh. This is crazy. Your sister brought this up to me. You know. I like it when the family members or friends bring up suggestions from mom's news. Okay. This comes from a lot of sources. I even listed the sources, which I will present to you later. And this says, the myth of witch is stealing penises and keeping them in boxes originates from the 15th century. This belief is documented in mem a witch hunting manual written by Heinrich Kramer in 1486. The manual describes witches allegedly collecting large number of male organs and storing them in bird's nest or boxes were supposedly moved, like living members and were fed oats and corn.

2 (58m 15s):

What this myth reflects the period's anxieties about female sexuality and witchcraft. And it was part of the broader cultural fields, fears and folklore surrounding witches during Middle Ages.

1 (58m 27s):

Whoa. Thank you for that whole little monologue. What, what

2 (58m 33s):

The sources are, penis, trees, penis, pets, and other myths about witches And Dicks. Second source is witches stole penises and kept them as pets in the middle ages. And third witches allegedly stole penises and kept them as pets.

1 (58m 46s):

Do you believe these stories?

2 (58m 48s):

Yes. Because they're all verified. You

1 (58m 50s):

Believe that these witches actually stole men's penises and kept them in boxes?

2 (58m 55s):

I started thinking about this. When you have a circumcision in the Jewish religion, it's, it is done by a Mo and it's called the Briss. Right? And they take the tip of the, the scrotum Mo.

1 (59m 10s):

The

2 (59m 10s):

Foreskin, the foreskin off. And they cannot throw it in the garbage. Yeah. They have to put it in, in some sort of dirt. So the Mo has like potted plants at his home filled with little pieces of foreskin. Yeah. I wonder if this came from that tradition that

1 (59m 28s):

The witches then started stealing men's penises,

2 (59m 31s):

But using them as

1 (59m 32s):

Pets and keeping them in boxes as

2 (59m 34s):

Pets. Yes. It's a strange phenomenon, but there must be some origin that we're

1 (59m 43s):

Not This is, this was a myth. This is not true.

2 (59m 46s):

Of course it's not true. Which is true. I realize that. I'm just saying that apparently it was very popular in the 14 hundreds.

1 (59m 52s):

The myth was popular. Yeah.

2 (59m 54s):

Yeah. People

1 (59m 56s):

Believe crazy shit.

2 (59m 57s):

Yeah. And, and nothing scares a guy more than thinking something's gonna happen to his dick.

1 (1h 0m 2s):

I like that. Your, your news is from the 15th century.

2 (1h 0m 6s):

Why not?

1 (1h 0m 8s):

It's called news. It's supposed to be new news. News,

2 (1h 0m 11s):

News. History. News.

1 (1h 0m 13s):

Yeah. Mom's history is more, more like it. There

2 (1h 0m 16s):

Was a reason she brought this up to me, but I can't remember. I know that she brought I, every so often I get You. know your, your whole family participation in this. Yeah. Do you have anything else you'd like to say about the penis? Would it scare you to know that there were witches out there collecting penises and putting them in boxes and using those pets?

1 (1h 0m 37s):

I would be nicer to people. I think

2 (1h 0m 40s):

Just don't mess with that witch. Yeah.

1 (1h 0m 41s):

I don't wanna have anyone chop the dick off and put it in, in a bird's nest or a box. Anyway. Thank you for that Mama's news. Mother.

2 (1h 0m 49s):

Anytime, son. Do you have any other things you'd like to share with us?

1 (1h 0m 53s):

Only the best segment of the show, the segment that all of you have been waiting for. Oh geez. This is the segment of the show where I share something near and dear to my heart. Something that my mother typically finds.

2 (1h 1m 5s):

Oh my goodness. Boring or silly or smelly. It Cam's uppers. Cams. Uppers is the place to, is the place to be. Be fun. Living is the life for me.

1 (1h 1m 21s):

It's Cam's, uppers, the segment of the show. Well, I just explained what it is. Yeah. I'm gonna share something I've been thinking about It is, it's an idea of orienting what's It's coming back. I have a renewed sense of confidence. I. think

2 (1h 1m 39s):

I like that.

1 (1h 1m 39s):

And I found You. know in the past when I, if I felt insecure around someone, I would try to kind of chameleon myself and try to become someone that they, they'd like to be around

2 (1h 1m 51s):

Chameleon

1 (1h 1m 52s):

To be a chameleon.

2 (1h 1m 54s):

Is that a word?

1 (1h 1m 55s):

I

2 (1h 1m 55s):

Don't know. I like it. Thank. you so I understood where you're going

1 (1h 1m 58s):

With it. You understood what I meant.

2 (1h 1m 59s):

I never knew that you felt uncomfortable. Well,

1 (1h 2m 2s):

I think I just, I knew I could just fit in a bit more if I tried to make myself likable. You know And Then Since coming back, I realized I was talking to someone who makes me feel a little uncomfortable sometimes. And I was like, I'm not going there with this person and trying to adapt. I'm

2 (1h 2m 18s):

This person. Is it male or a female?

1 (1h 2m 19s):

It's a male. It's an older male. And. I said You know this guy can come to me.

2 (1h 2m 23s):

He, this guy can kiss my ass.

1 (1h 2m 25s):

I'm, I'm gonna stand firmly like a tree that I am. Yeah. And he can orient to me as opposed to me orienting to him. Did

2 (1h 2m 31s):

It work?

1 (1h 2m 32s):

And he once, once he felt that, he kind of dropped the awkwardness and we kind of fell into a rhythm. Isn't that nice? I like it. And so made me wonder, okay, well what's healthy? What, what is the healthy way of going about this orient? Are you constantly holding your ground and letting people orient to you? Or is it more of like, do you, do you wanna, you wanna pick and choose? When do you

2 (1h 2m 53s):

And I Think you gotta pick and choose,

1 (1h 2m 54s):

Kind of adapt to others. It's, it's kinda like meeting the person on their level that they're at

2 (1h 2m 60s):

If. you walk meeting in the midway

1 (1h 3m 1s):

If, you walk into a room and someone's very hyper. Do you, do you get on their level or do you ground down and hope that they come to your level? What, what do you You know? Yeah. This is interesting. Interesting question.

2 (1h 3m 13s):

Yeah, actually, it's interesting.

1 (1h 3m 15s):

So what do you make of it?

2 (1h 3m 17s):

I think you get to be my age and you don't give a fuck.

1 (1h 3m 21s):

Do you have people orient you

2 (1h 3m 23s):

Or I don't care. Or they orient in themselves and I'm fine being by myself. Right.

1 (1h 3m 27s):

But either way, you're not really changing your ways. I

2 (1h 3m 30s):

Will change my ways sometimes You

1 (1h 3m 32s):

Do change your ways. Depends.

2 (1h 3m 33s):

I can, I I

1 (1h 3m 33s):

Could. I think it's normal human behavior when you meet someone to find out, okay, what is the level we're gonna connect at? What speed are we gonna talk at? What You know? What, how negative are we gonna be? How positive are we gonna be? Like, what out? Like you end up kind of coalescing a lot. You know. It's pretty interesting. We don't think about this too much. How

2 (1h 3m 51s):

Did you come to think of this?

1 (1h 3m 53s):

Because I had this experience. And I realized I was acting differently than I have in the past with this guy. Interesting. And we'd grown. I I, it it, it shows growth.

2 (1h 4m 1s):

I like that. You, you can help other people. Yeah.

1 (1h 4m 6s):

You like that I help other people.

2 (1h 4m 7s):

Yeah. You're helping other people with this package.

1 (1h 4m 9s):

It's constantly helping. Cams. Uppers is the fucking best segment of the show.

2 (1h 4m 12s):

Well Thank you for that.

1 (1h 4m 13s):

You're welcome. And I wanna thank all of you for listening, for showing us support and we're gonna continue to build this show,

2 (1h 4m 22s):

But we need a little participation.

1 (1h 4m 24s):

So here, If, you made it this far. You are a devoted sneaky freak.

2 (1h 4m 30s):

You really are a sneaky freak. You have some problems. You need to get professional help.

1 (1h 4m 34s):

No, no, no. We love you very much and we wanna make this show that you wanna listen to and to help us do that, we would love to do a few 10 minute interviews with some of you sneaky freaks If. you want to have a little one-on-one call with us, shoot us a text at 3 1 0 3 5 6 3 9 2 0.

2 (1h 4m 55s):

We're

1 (1h 4m 55s):

Gonna be conducting interviews to figure out how to improve this show. 'cause we're gonna, over the next five months, it's one of our big goals. How do we, how do we make this show something that is both serving us and also serving you guys and making, making sure that it's entertaining you or educating you in the way that you wanna Beducated or entertained. So please give us a text there. We'd love to talk with you and,

2 (1h 5m 18s):

And If you a few

1 (1h 5m 19s):

Lucky winners. We will have a little meet greet with us.

2 (1h 5m 22s):

Oh yeah. And If, you don't feel comfortable talking to us on the phone or having that interview. You could go to our patron page and join for as little as a, I think a dollar or $5 or something. And Then. Let us know there where, what you think

1 (1h 5m 43s):

That it's, they're doing us a favor. Oh,

2 (1h 5m 47s):

Well, let us know. All right. Is there another way you'd like them to communicate with us? No,

1 (1h 5m 52s):

But if they wanna support our show, feel free to join us on patreon.com/ Sex. Talk With My Mom your money allows us to pay the studio and, and record in these dope ass seats. So please.

2 (1h 6m 3s):

And, and it allows you to buy those blue socks that you feel so confident in right

1 (1h 6m 7s):

Now. These were gifted to me by another clown. Oh,

2 (1h 6m 9s):

Well what do you think then? Yes.

1 (1h 6m 11s):

Anyway, we really appreciate your support. Love you and all the Patreon members. We, we love you very much. And

2 (1h 6m 17s):

I'd love to find out where did you find us? That's always my question is where did people find us? Let us, we are on, we are on Instagram and TikTok and obviously YouTube, especially if you're watching it here. We're on Spotify. We're gonna try to get the video on Spotify so you can watch us. So we're gonna make this podcast great. Again, Oh. my God. I didn't just say that.

1 (1h 6m 38s):

All right.

2 (1h 6m 39s):

And let me tell you about the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees, and having penis in your nesty.

1 (1h 6m 48s):

Penis in your nesty.

2 (1h 6m 50s):

Right. Fuck.

1 (1h 6m 53s):

All right. Thank you guys. Bye bye.

Prince William County Economic Development (1h 7m 5s):

Every year, over 300 businesses start right here in Prince William County. And I'm one of them. I'm Ross Dunlap. With Series Nano Sciences, we make unique particles for diagnostic testing, including a wastewater surveillance product that's helping protect against future pandemics. We started in the Prince William Science Accelerator and the county has been a key partner in supporting our expansion and growth. Go to pwc startups.com to learn how our economic development team can help your business. That's pwc startups.com.